hay amor aqui /  by lalalalauren

its summer again and there are so many things i need to do.
last summer it was different, there was no time. no clocks no watches, just the sun spinning around us in circles making us dizzy from each other's company day after day. the nights are the same, long, hot and full of love mixed with wine, beer and thick foggy smoke from cigarettes and joints. less bars and more barbecues on our bright blue terrace. victor and i spent two weeks sleeping in a tent on the terrace. the crying seagulls would keep us up until the early morning when the sun would start to rise and remind us that we must sleep. ahh must we sleep? then we would wake up in a hot sweat from the sun pouring into our tent and remove whatever clothes we still had on in order to feel a fresh breeze on our sticky bodies. at the beach, the salt water stings my freshly shaved legs as i float in the ocean. the sky is such a pure blue. the water at barceloneta is cleaner today than it was yesterday but the sun is so hot it burns our backs. i want to go back to Cadaqués.

we are camping in ibiza and formentera for a week in august. it will be my first time to an island besides manhattan. and my first time camping. i just want to play like a hippie and swim naked and run around barefoot. maybe just one night dancing ourselves crazy to some techno-house music at some overpriced and overrated (or maybe not?) ibiza nightclub. i need to get an underwater disposable camera for those clearer and bluer than i've ever seen mediterranean waters! can't wait!

most listened to this month /  by lalalalauren

seabear - cold summer
the national - terrible love
groove armada - look me in the eye sister
viva voce - octavio
the very best - yalira
dag for dag - pirate sea
sunset rubdown - idiot heart
delorean - real love
animal collective - what would i want? sky
bloodgroup - my arms
hot chip - take it in
twin sister - all around and away we go (teen daze remix)
caribou - sandy
seabear - wolfboy
surfer blood - harmonix
lcd soundsystem - i can change
brian eno - this

i wish i was at primavera sound right now wathcing the pixies and yeasayer!! going to try and jump the fence tomorrow so hopefully an evil spanish police officer wont taser me...

rainbow love /  by lalalalauren

zonza and raffa are the rainbow warriors. these boys have more cosmic energy together than any other two people that i know. i met them my first night in barcelona, june 28th 2009, while they provided the groovy tunes and doo wop melodies to one of the best nights i've had in years. hidden behind their long dark sardinian curls they decorate their dj stand with toys and tools of all kinds from the infamous ET (once stolen and graciously returned) to zoos of miniature animals, vines of flowers, sirens, plastic glasses, and more. zonza even keeps a full body skeleton suit hanging in his room for those crucial 'need a full body spandex skeleton suit' moments. (you know those moments exist...)

in august before i really knew them i was lucky enough to live in the same apartment with them for a week. one night before they played at plastico bar i witnessed their magic in the comfort of their own dining room. they had cooked themselves a hearty italian pasta dinner and armed with a fresh baguette and cold beer they sat and discussed their inspirations for the music for the night ahead of them with such concentration they could have been rocket scientists. together their creative force is mighty inspirational.

now raffa is galavanting around london with his perfect little swedish ginger girlfriend frida (come back!!) while zonza is still here providing us with his magical music selections at various locations around the barcelona night scene.

for a taste of what they do, download the following mix courtesy of raffa himself.
http://www.megaupload.com/?d=66EVA4PJ

neuvo york /  by lalalalauren

i am unprepared and nervous sitting at the barcelona airport waiting for my flight to new york city that is already two hours delayed due to the massive snow storm in waiting for me across the ocean. it was sunny at the beach yesterday and in nine hours i will be walking through dirty slushy snow with wet socks from the holes in my boots. believe me, this is me trying to be optimistic. its not easy when leaving beautiful barcelona to new york during the worst time of the year for five weeks. i know i know! new york is pretty, even in the snow. even in the dirty black mess of what used to be snow? well, the job i am working while there will give me the much needed money to survive my life in spain and a lot of really good experience. these are good things!!... as long as i can stay warm and not have a panic attack from weeks of crashing on couches, soggy socks, long days at work, and annoying fashion week people.
in the wise advice of my short friend mischa,
"dont forget to come home!!"
and i wont.

less than or equal to /  by lalalalauren

im back in paris and i know why i left it
the metro; no one is smiling and certainly no one is making eye contact, god forbid.
except for the crazy man in the corner yelling about the president and his missus
as he sniffs the pair of black cotton panties he carefully unfolds from inside his coat pocket,
with a large gap in his front teeth he seems like the happiest man on this train.
and then there's the army of fashionistas standing in line to buy their cigarettes
they are like vultures
in their avant-garde groundbreakingly original garments in shades of... black.
you are all just common people so sit the fuck down.
its cold here, and i dont want to pay four euros for an unexceptional cafe creme
nor do i want to pay eighteen euros for your average steak frites
i should stop there, so ill stop there. fucking parisians.
i love you paris but you're bringing me down!
or is it barcelona that has ruined me for the better?

options /  by lalalalauren

i cant help but know and realize there is an easy way out.
i shouldn't torture myself by looking online and seeing
the thousands of jobs that are available back in new york,
that i could easily get with no worries about
legal papers and legit documentation
of who i am and where i belong.

i like my life here and i want to keep it that way
but 'shouldn't you be a little more realistic?' says my mother.


its just the december blues.
the end of a year and the start of a new one.

fire in your hand /  by lalalalauren

you lie there on your stomach asleep
in the golden morning sun.
your hand is awkwardly extended
from underneath you, like a twisted
branch from a desert tree.
a large fly, black like tar,
circles your open hand in contemplation.
it is as big as a coin and the insect and I examine each other
like we had met in a previous life.
the fly twists its legs back and forth
as if he were making fire in your hand or praying.
but why would a fly pray and to whom would it pray?
if i were that fly, I would dance
in the soft cushion of your palm.
finally, you feel the sensation of him
parading in your hand like a proud king,
and you close your fingers to a tight fist and turn.

july 31, 2009

not so trivial /  by lalalalauren

two months of this madness has left a permanent mark on my sanity and on my ability to remember the specific details of things that happened more than two days ago. it feels incredibly good, really. my veins feel like they are pumping fast with fresh blood and oxygen. i am experiencing an overwhelming sense of freedom and happiness throughout all aspects of my life. at times, i feel like my cigarettes accompany me through the night as if they were my only true friend but i know, that they are not. the music is loud and my heart vibrates with the beat like a revving engine. nights are dark and never long enough but full of infinite opportunities and impulsive reactions. and when the world stops spinning, you sit with your friends on dirty yellow cushions from lost couches on the cold tile floor, and the night sky starts to trade its deep blue for the ombre affect of the rising sun. the next choice must be made quickly: to lie your head softly against your waiting pillow or to go dance and embrace the new day coming?

if you could repeat one day from the last year, do you know which one it would be?

i do.

i lived for my first two months here in a small room without a view without a window but with very good company in a broken bed with a what i would call a strong 'gravitational pull' towards the middle. not much natural light or fresh air but plenty of good nights and even better mornings. its december and the sun is still shining and a coat is optional and i'm still waiting on the first winter rains that i experienced so frequently in paris, but i'll survive if i don't see them.

now, i have moved and am living in a very big apartment with low ceilings and a few friends that might be cockroaches but i have a closet big enough to hide in for the first time in maybe three years. it is cozy and there is fresh air and light from my balcony with antique wooden doors and i am not alone in my bed and there are pictures of all of you stuck to my wall in the most disorderly fashion.